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There are certain things that happen in life
that no matter what a person warns you about or
tells you not to do, you are going to do it anyway.
You could tell a toddler not to touch that cactus
plant. You could tell a teenager not to light
their shoe on fire. Of course, I could tell a
young twi-hard about how horrible the film Breaking
Dawn is, but they will still go.
I could tell you right now that in the film that
the film is nothing but purple monkeys jumping
on a jello pool listening to river dancing music
from the 1940’s. I could literally write
ANYTHING down on here that would warn a twi-hard
of lunacy, an hour of just a white screen with
Edward’s voice whispering “Vampire”
over and over again and they would still see it.
This review is not for them. My review today is
for every unfortunate man, conforming woman, and
hopefully-won’t-remember-this-years-down-the-road-in-therapy
child who is going to be dragged along to see
this flick over the weekend.
Breaking Dawn begins at a moment in every normal
18 year-old girl’s life- Bella is about
to get married to vampire Edward Cullen. We watch
as they are wed and she is whisked off to the
Cullen private island for their honeymoon. Unfortunately,
Bella and Edward did not take a course in Vampire
& Human mating pregnancy prevention. She becomes
pregnant and the child is growing rapidly. Meanwhile,
Jacob the werewolf has become heartbroken from
Bella getting married and becomes infuriated when
she is with child. To make matters more complicated,
the werewolf tribe is none too happy about this
blood-sucking bun in the oven. While Bella struggles
to stay alive, there are those plotting to kill
her before she can give birth.
Now, I will give credit where credit is due for
a few areas of this movie. The acting throughout
the whole cast has certainly improved over the
past three movies. You can tell that each actor
has put time and thought into creating their character’s
internal world. The standout star was Taylor Lautner
as Jacob. He has certainly grown physically and
in his thespian talents since his debut in Twilight.
Another welcomed improvement lies in the special
effects department. Ever since the CGI guys got
suck flack for their poor renditions of the werewolves
in New Moon, they have certainly upped their game.
From a reader’s standpoint, the film did
a good job of capturing the all-around essence
of the film. While minor details of scenes were
altered to some degree (be prepared to hear the
full list of “unforgivable changes”
in the car with your twi-hard), it never lost
it’s touch with the book.
Downsides to Breaking Dawn, some of the jokes
felt forced and stale. Even with the ever-loveable
Charlie (Bella’s father), it seemed that
this movie lacked a rhythm in humor. I will give
them some leeway because the story itself leaves
very little room for jokes and humor. Also, some
of the songs did not fit the mood of the story.
While a couple felt perfectly in place like “Flightless
Bird, American Mouth” and “Turning
Page”, many of the songs just felt thrown
in because they were indie and, “teenagers
love that indie stuff!” It lacked some musical
direction in the film itself, but when listening
to the soundtrack in the car, it was much better.
The film is rated PG-13 for disturbing images,
violence, sexuality/partial nudity and some thematic
elements. This movie has a honeymoon. The past
three films have had so much teenage sexual tension
it makes Cruel Intentions blush. While it does
not show anything explicit, there are “memories”
of what happened the night before and not full
sequences. For the disturbing images and violence,
Bella is giving birth to a half-vampire baby.
The birthing scene is NOT an easy scene to watch
for young viewers. Although it is shot from Bella’s
point of view, you still get squeamish and most
of the audience covered their eyes. It is amazing
that with the sexuality and extreme violence of
the birth that the film only got a PG-13. No one
under the age of 13, or even 14 should see this
film.
Like I said before, I could say anything about
this movie and fans of the franchise would not
care. But, for those who might consider seeing
this movie, I would recommend it for those who
want to score some brownie points with their girlfriends.
This will definitely be the movie to see with
your gal pals.
I give Breaking Dawn a solid 3 out of 5 wedding
rings. While this one is easily my favorite of
the saga, it still has some rough spots around
the edges. Also—stay for midway through
the credits to catch a small “tag”!
(a scene at the end of the credits)
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